in my Hyde phase last week I said some rather harsh and unkind things about the boys’ mother, which was bad enough, but where the boys could hear me, which was even worse… we haven’t had them since last Tues, which was when she called my dh to complain (and well within her rights to do so), and my hormonal rage has since subsided, so I apologized both to her and to the boys for my tirade last week… it’s SO hard living w/this Jekyll-Hyde thing, whether it’s PMDD or something else, b/c whenever something like this happens, I know on some level that I shouldn’t have done or said whatever it was, but for about half the month (EVERY month!!) I just can’t seem to find the rationality or even just calmness to actually rectify or at least apologize for my offence(s)… but I could tell that the boys’ mom really appreciated my apology and explanation (which I added that I wasn’t offering by way of trying to excuse my behaviour, only to help her understand that it’s not her, and that I am actually taking steps to address the issue), and frankly it felt really good to make the effort to set things right… I may not like everything she does, but she still doesn’t deserve to be verbally abused by her ex-husband’s new wife, and especially not where her sons can hear it… I just hope it doesn’t take too long to figure out the most effective way to relieve these symptoms…

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