have you ever been on the receiving end of a cookie? someone offers you a cookie, but it’s a flavour that sounds weird (pistachio butterscotch oatmeal, anyone?), or it’s a flavour you tried once but didn’t really care for (as shocking as this may be, I actually know people who do NOT like chocolate chip cookies), or you just had a big lunch and don’t have room for a cookie, or you tried a cookie once and had a bad reaction to something that was in it, or maybe you just prefer cupcakes to cookies. sometimes the cookie giver gets all upset that you didn’t want their cookie, even tho’ they don’t know and never bother asking WHY you’re not interested in the cookie (me personally, that has a tendency to kinda put me off cookies the next time I’m offered one). sometimes the cookie giver asks why you don’t want the cookie, you tell them, and they still get upset; sometimes you tell them and they say, “oh, sorry. I just really like this cookie and thought you might like it, too,” and the cookie isn’t the be-all, end-all of your relationship.
now, I have this cookie that I really REALLY like — sometimes I show it to people or talk to people about it. if they want to try some of my cookie I’m happy to share; if their reaction is more like “you’re so strange, why are you bothering me w/cookies when you know I like bagels?” then I’m happy to talk about their bagel instead, maybe even try a bite. I don’t believe cookies have a corner on yummy (they do have a corner on being cookies).
my special cookie makes me happy, and I think everyone should be this happy. but if cookies aren’t what make someone else happy, or if my kind of cookie isn’t what makes them happy (altho’ I’m not sure how they’d know that if they’ve never tried it, but I digress), that doesn’t make them a bad person or make me like them any less. I do have a tendency to get upset w/people who think if I don’t like their particular goodie then that makes ME a bad person, or of questionable intelligence or parentage, so I make it a point not to treat others that way about their goodies.
my cookie is so important to me that it shapes my world view: I have a tendency to relate to most things in life from the perspective of my cookie. that bothers some people, especially if they happen to like something other than cookies, but I don’t relate to things from cookie-ness to be insensitive or narrow-minded, just like I don’t think other people relate to things from bagel-ness or cupcake-ness or muffin-ness to be obtuse — it’s just that the bagel or cupcake or what have you is important enough to THEM to shape THEIR world view, even if they’re not really aware that it does. and their cupcake world view or whatever, or even their awareness of it (or lack thereof), doesn’t make them bad people, either (altho’ we all know the guy who only wants to talk to you if you’re interested in his cookie, and other than that he has no use for you, but let’s leave him out of this).
I have friends who have and like the same cookies I do; I have friends who’ve had the same kind of cookie I have but decided at some point that they like a different kind of cookie or even another goodie altogether. I have friends who like peanut butter cookies, bagels, cupcakes, muffins, snickerdoodles, donuts, cinnamon rolls, croissants, you name it. I don’t think less of them for liking their particular goodie instead of my kind of cookie, and I hope they respect my choice of cookie as well, even if it’s not something they themselves care for.
bottom line is, if I’ve mentioned my cookie to you, it’s probably b/c I love you and want to share w/you something that makes me happy b/c I think it might make you happy, too. if you’re content w/your sugar cookie or cupcake or bagel or what have you, that’s great, and I don’t love you any less for liking that goodie instead of my cookie, and it’s not like I can’t be friends w/you anymore b/c you’re not interested in my cookie. but my fondness for my special cookie is very much a part of who I am, so I hope you don’t mind continuing to put up w/my occasionally overt cookie-ness. 😉